I see you

They call you friend and know who you’ve got the googly eyes for, that you like pineapple on pizza, or secretly love Anime.

They call you teammate and know balling is your passion and would spend every waking moment on the field or court if you could.

They call you student and look forward to having you in class waiting to read your next essay or listen to your outside of the box thoughts because it’s going to make them laugh because they’ll have no idea how you come up with them.

They see you smiling when you walk through the halls, they give you a hug, they see you and your friends laughing and trying to low key catch a glimpse of the one you got your eye on. They see you happy, laughing and loving life.

You’re a great friend, always there for anyone who needs a quiet ear to listen and shoulder to cry on, delivering that one liner at just the right time putting a smile on the face that was just crying.

Your teammates know if no one else is at the game cheering them on that you’ll be there drowning out the crowd when you tear it up and catch the one hit deep to the fence or bring in the game winning run.

You’re crushing it, top of your class, Jr Beta, Jr Civitan, and countless other clubs. All the teachers say you’re going to do amazing things in your life.

Failure, disappointment, useless, burden, never enough, that’s what you hear, that’s what’s behind the mask you put on for the world to see.

The voice you hear in your mind sounds like you, but it’s not your own. It’s one of constant doubt and criticism. The words come from an unknow place, a dark unknown void in your mind.

When you miss that text or call it says you suck as a friend. When you strike out it tells you you’re a burden to your team. It says the B you got on a test means you’ll be nothing in life.

If you could let the screams of your mind out into the world it would deafen those near and dear to you and send them running from the darkness that it would release into the world.

Hercules would bow to the strength it takes to keep it all in. They’ll say they know you, what you’re going through, your struggles, your trials and tribulations, but they don’t.

You won’t let them see; you don’t want to burden them. So, you take a deep breath and put on a smile.

But I see you, and I see the mask. I see the pressure, and the pain. I’ve seen that mask before, in the mirror. I’ve been lost in the darkness, staring into the endless void screaming for the words to stop. Searching for the faintest light to show me the way out only to collapse into nothingness.

You’re not a failure, a disappointment, useless or burden. You are stronger than you could ever imagine, and don’t have to carry the weight of your burden alone.

When you’ve fallen and become lost in the darkness you only have to reach out and I’ll pull you up and take the weight you’ll let me carry and show you the way to the light. It may be but a flicker of a candle in the distance, but it’s the flicker of hope.